![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() *beep-boop* make the 1890's Yukon mailman a Jamaic-I mean-French Black guy for token diversity *beep-boop* all human antagonists are ugly or have mustaches *beep-boop* main character is a good boy fren who is doin me a frighten *beep-boop* shoehorn preachy theme about the shortsightedness of greed despite production originating from one of the world's highest grossing media conglomerates *beep-boop* convey all emotional intentions through invasive score *beep-boop* drinking is sort of bad *beep-boop* dog is not gay *beep-boop* Suddenly, as if called forth from the Skynet compound itself, casting directors, production assistants, and CG animators emerged from their frost-dusted ice lockers with the fine-tuned vision and coldly calculated compulsion of an A.I. When asked how he would like to re-enter the Hollywood workforce, Harrison Ford sat pensively on his agent's black leather casting couch before bellowing, "I think in my younger days I really killed it doing disinterested narration voiceovers." A frantic memo was sent to the Disney hivemind - execute :Operation Jack London: we have our codger. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |